I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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