): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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