i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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