you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
