I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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