Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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