garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
