you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
