he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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