Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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