Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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