you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
