I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
