You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize