Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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