well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
