This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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