He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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