holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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