please come you make the beer taste better
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
