3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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