he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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