Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
