why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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