I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
