You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's just like the Real World with babies
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
