Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Someone came in the potted fern
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
