Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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