so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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