I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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