I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize