she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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