she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
