I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
