i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
