I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize