I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
