very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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