the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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