that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
