Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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