he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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