So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
