I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
