Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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