Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
