Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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