What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
