best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
