never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
