And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.