She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.