It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later