So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.