I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
4 words: hood of his car
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
