Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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