Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't turn off my feet"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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