So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
