So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
