i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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