Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize