is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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