I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
