how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
