My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize