What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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