You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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