i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
