Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
