I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
