oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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