He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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